THE IDEA
Sport was always there for me in times of stress, discomfort, or hardship. It taught me discipline and balance, and made me realize that there’s nothing you can’t overcome when you put your body to work. I was always happier after a workout. The idea that I could offer other women this simple and accessible solution turned into a project I loved from the very beginning — one I was passionate about and into which I poured my heart. I was happy and enthusiastic creating it from scratch — this completely new product on the Romanian market. I had ambition, drive, and a clear goal.
THE TIMING
It worked — I launched it, pushed forward with passion and determination. On the outside, it was a success. On the inside, I was dealing with personal challenges that made working out — and especially filming videos — almost impossible. On top of that, I always believed that everything online needed to look perfect: the perfect body, the perfect photos, the perfect promotional videos.
I kept pushing, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t find the time or the commitment the project needed, and this went on for several years — periods of progress followed by long gaps of disengagement. I tried, but my mind wasn’t fully there. You can’t look good or inspire others if you don’t feel good yourself or if you doubt your own work.
THE UNDERSTANDING
Even when you give everything you can to a project, if the timing is wrong and you’re not balanced on the inside, things simply don’t work out.
It took me years, a lot of stress, confusion, and indecision — not to mention the money I kept investing to keep the project alive. I was losing money and feeling increasingly anxious about it, yet it gave me a sense of purpose and identity. I was stuck in indecision, unable to let go.
THE END
One day, during a short emergency session, my coach friend asked me to flip a coin — just to finally make a decision about Tonusapp, a decision that had become almost painful to face. The coin said to close it. I felt nothing in that moment — no regret, no pain, nothing.
It took me a few more months, but eventually, one day, I called my lawyer and asked to close the business. I was finally able to detach from my project and see my value apart from it. It was not my identity — it was something I had created and worked on. I finally let go of my “baby” project, and it didn’t hurt anymore. That was about a month ago.
THE BEGINNING
The paradox is that once I released the pressure, an incredible wave of energy, enthusiasm, and motivation came back. I found myself full of ideas, inspiration, and the will to do so many things. I feel inspired again — but that’s also the result of the balance I’ve managed to create in my life.
And balance is an ongoing process — one we have to work on every day, with calm, patience, and perseverance.
I wrote more openly about the emotional side of this experience on my Romanian blog, carmengrigore.ro – it’s a piece from the heart.